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Topic: This one starts in"Shane Mc Gowan, below |
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John Lesko |
Posted: 18-Jul-10 17:48 |
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Thank you for having the tenacity to pusue this thread. WRhere did I leave off? Oh, yes!
I have come to believe that shame is the ultimate goal of every "recovering addict", because something inside us says, "The only time we had the attention of the most significant people in our lives was when they were heaping on us messages telling that THIS (whatever it was) was all we'd ever amount to.".
And we wallowed in that negative self talk!
If fact, something else that I have come to believe is that 12 step recovery programs are proof that there Is a devil!
They give the addict an euphoric feeling of steady until the suptle swansong of negativity throws us under our own particular Super Chief and grinds us up so we can start all over again! One more go around on that toxic merry-go-round.
So, now I've said my peace, surprisingly, I need a help presenting this alternative POV to the people who need to hear it the most! Thankbyou for reading this. I'm sure that God will help me if I'm really on to something. |
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oldduke20 |
Posted: 19-Jul-10 06:54 |
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John, you're one of my favorite contributors to our Messageboard, and I feel comfortable that you won't be offended when I disagree with you about 12-step programs. I must confess that I am not a member of any of these programs, but that doesn't mean I don't know anything about them.
I entered my previous profession in 1961, & for the next 26 years I spent a great deal of time working with (and learning from) those burdened with drunkenness and alcoholism. I came out of all this with a great deal of respect for "The Program". Although it didn't help everyone for this reason or that, it became a tremendous tool for dealing with this illness for so many more. You'd have a hard time convincing me otherwise.
(Mind you, alcoholics can be victorious "over the grape" without AA, and that's great, too.)
And thus we conclude another chapter in the unending saga of of the life and loves of the Duke...........................
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John Lesko |
Posted: 19-Jul-10 14:06 |
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Duke,
I certainly do NOT mind you disagreeing with me. I don't even mind beind told that the entire content of this Thead (or should I say, hangman's noose) isn't worth the gyabites I wasted assembling it, providing that person has a credible alternative to my rant.
I have to compare myself to the twelve fellows in Jerusalem the morning the did a spontanious impersonation of the aftereffects of Richard Pryor after his near fatal freebasing a humorous story from days gone by.
Three gentlemen were told that if they answered a question correctly, they would get the job they all had applied for, and the question was, "What was Easter?"
The first two blew it utterly. Then, the third began to speak. "There was dis guy, Jesus I think, who got put on a cross til he died."
The interviewer's ears perked up and he said, "Yes! Yes! Go on."
"and they took him down, put him in somebody elses tomb.".
The interviewer was ecstatic. "And then, what happened?!?!".
The man being interviewed said, "He came out of the tomb, saw his own shadow on the ground, turned around, went back into the tomb, and we had six more weeks of winter.".
All the facts were there and correct. But look at the ultimate solution- WRONG!!!!
The basis for my statement about Auld Nick.
The addict takes all the right steps, and when he has comples them, is gaurateed to be relieved of whatever compulsion you care to name. Had Satan let go of the correct punchline, the addict is left in a demonic void where guidence is the only void into which he can sink.
The people who need this, and mean to take a second look at the real truth about their life. The "problem" started some where. And I put it to you that the start lies some where is the first time they experienced a deeply negative judgement of themselves.
They then embrace the worst thing that will keep negtive judgements of themselves so they can fall back into the toxic embrace.
The cycle of addictive behavior proceeds.
I 'm sorry that I don't have a snappy solution to this problem.
If you see one, please share it with me and the rest of those who are trappen what call "Partial Thinking"
Thank you! |
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Pat 56 |
Posted: 20-Jul-10 11:23 |
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If I may, I have a rather unique perspective on addiction.
A lady I was VERY close to for a number of years was in a 12 step program for alcohol, and had been clean and sober for quite a few years. She never gave up her dependency on the program and never stopped fearing alcohol as an enemy for the rest of her life.
My father was an alcoholic, before he met my mother. He never went through a 12 step program, but just distanced himself from it in stages, so he never "couldn't" have a drink but just was able to choose not to, after a time. He broke the physical addiction, and in doing so also broke the mental hold it had over him. For the rest of his life, if he wanted a single sip of blackberry brandy (which he kept in a cabinet), he would allow himself one and only one. One small (pint) bottle would last him the better part of a year. He was never afraid of it and never felt he was about to fall back into alcoholism.
To me, he had the much richer life. She lived every day in fear of alcohol while he had taken control back from it. For that reason, I've always been somewhat suspicious of 12-step programs, as their main purpose seems to be to keep their members dependent for life.
All the best...
Pat
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John Lesko |
Posted: 20-Jul-10 15:46 |
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PatPOst,Pat, free.
Thank for sharing the story of your father with us!
I attended meeting with man who was fond of saying, "Some times I attend meetings just to hear about what happened to the people who stopped going to meetings.".
Needless to say, these people were the ones who lapsed back into John Barleycorn's fatal embrace.
Yet, your father kept the plug in the jug, and is STILL staying problem free-my congratulations to him!
I would to address those who still attend AA and challenge them to look deeper than the bleeding obvious, and ask them to familiarize themselves with the thing in their past that first made them shame's bitch.
That is a painful, arduous road to travel. But at the end of the journey They will be able to look shame in eye and say, "I ain't your bitch ANYMORE!". Go find somebody to ride on! |
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